`l0st n g0ne

*lonely lonely

2005-12-28T22:44:00.000+08:00

i`m so ~~fucking~~ realising people are distancing from me. they are so ever changing. and the freaking change is taking place so fast in everyone. haiz. i dun seem to have people to depend on anymore. people are so disappearing from my side. those whom i used to be so close with just aren't there anymore. i seriously don't know who to ask for help. be it for my classes or whatsoever. just a simple getting-outta-house in the holidays seems so difficult now. a scene of me and my classmates out is never possible. me asking my ex-classmates out seems so far-fetched. getting him to accompany me any longer is outta the question. my best friend claims she's busy. and she's out practically everyday. not free even when i really need a company. surely i`m the loser over who's depending on her and surely she doesn't need me at all. and definitely it's no way out asking him for more time for me. gotta work. gotta spend time with his family who's ever sooo close. gotta go out with his group of close friends. especially now with someone back from hongkong. i`m so sick of having no company when i need it. my fucked-up attitude is that bad huh. so much that i am in such a pathetic situation. maybe what i should do is really seriously get a life and move on. this is definitely not self pity or anything of that sorts. but i really really hope things will improve.

being immersed in big big piles of work or stress might just be a blessing in disguise after all. at least i do not have all the time in the world to think about all this and end up feeling lonely.

*while i`m here thinking where everyone is running to, people out there might just be thinking where i`m disappearing to.

i`m back.

2005-12-26T15:36:00.000+08:00

hi there. this place still exists huh. bleahs. wonder if anyone still comes here anymore. i wish not=x i just wanna have a place to voice things out. things have really changed so much ever since i last blogged.
i`ve gained n lost friends already. i`m ~~freaking attached~~ already. [who can ever believe that?] i`ve worked at hyatt for almost a year already. it's just a few more days to 2006. which means i`m turning 18 sooonn. muahahaha. yesssshh~ i`m finishing my year one soon. which is about maybe three or four months? i hope this pass fast. and i guess it really will. moving on means a new class! yea. doubt there'll be anything worse than the current one anyway. but i still don't know what i want. industrial chem? too hard to get in. food? not interested thou lots seems to want it. polymer? no way for me. i'll rather die. that's how bad it is. *yawns. boring course there.
finally a 4e4 bbq quite recently. but just how bad can the response get man. freaking disappointed. *sighs. where are you guys??
previous week- had e-learning. and wth is that sia. handing in lame assignments online? and we so can't learn much. dumb dumb dumb. and i bet at least 99% of us treats it as earlier holidays for us.
xmas eve- went to my bf's friend's house. supposed to be a party. but it turned out so sucky for me. i don't know anyone there can. felt sooo extra. and worse. it's allll the way to the east side! and spent a fucking twenty two bucks to get home. how nice.

i`m ever so realising the differences between him and i. that sometimes i just feel like giving up. haiz.

2005-06-27T01:16:00.000+08:00

ya. haven been long since i last updated. its just a couple of 10 over days. =x another week plus just went pst like that. homework and groupwork is so piling up man. and my firz quiz is on the way already. may god bless me sia. the mess i am in is starting to clear which is like gr8 news to me. i don't know if it's cuz i've changed a lot or that the new environment is plain different. i don't seem to have a clear n innocent record anymore now. rumours can just fly outta nowhere. how that suck. so sick of it. i missed 4e4 'o5 and my st johns peeps man. haiz. where are you guys??? hmmm. my class guys are like soooo amazing. only a month and they actually managed to fall in love. how funny. anyways. as i was saying i had so much homework. so decided to fake sick today and took off. got my off and end up slacking at home. it feels so gr8 to be at home slacking man. it feel like months ever since i've last done that. seems like i come home shag everyday and just use the com. what a life.
fri. i watched 'a lot like love'. and i don't quite like it sia. and it's so RA. gosh. this is just a personal opinion. but it really sucks. after which went lau pa sat. ate dinner. then we dumb-ly walked a very long distance all the way to suntec. then like very late already i nidda go baq rest. i felt so stupid.
thurs. met up with t0ng yee n man. long time no see. so miss them. thou it was just a simple get together but i haf fun. =) i l0ve them soo much man. make me think back about my life in swiss. and made me dread going back school as well.
wed. supposed to meet joyce. but something cropped up for her. so i went to this stupid AIDS talk in school. almost had to go homw alone until lay teng contacted me. heh. went causeway meet up wif her.
tue. i went down to lido to catch jay, edison and shawn the previous tue. and shawn yue is so rocks eh. support initial D k. =) too bad he ain't any of the leads. ='( but he still rocks.

`save me please!

2005-06-15T22:54:00.000+08:00

wat the hell is this man. everything seems to be going hay wire. i don't know the reason. and have no idea at all. this sucks and i am getting sick of tired of it. very. how i got in this this mess i don't know too. coindences? maybe. everything bad involves me. so does a plan that's ongoing. how am i gonna leave all this shit in one piece? im doubting the possibility of it. it had started off SOO well. but but but...... what had happened now? seems like happiness is always short lived. what can i do about that? nothing. absolutely nothing.

my new class is just too much for me to handle.

erm..?

2005-06-08T18:47:00.000+08:00

hmmm..im back..com's ok but vulnerable..whatever. but guess there's high chance of me abandoning this site. this is a totally lousy n run-down site now. feel like puking whenever i look at it and im feeling ever so lazy to try fix this. shall see how it goes.

so. now. school's started. im officially in sp dcp class 1A07. so far so good. except for one psychopath in my class. other than that nothing much i can really complain about. ppl are gr8 and friendly. just that they can be overly obedient at times. =x hmmm. oh yes. one terrible thing. totally sucked. physics is one of my modules. damn the hell out of it. and a gay is teaching it. he's not exactly THAT bad. but who tell him(or her?) to teach phy anyway? my fav lecturer is teaching my fav module. superb! so that's almost all. ciaos.

only chance.

2005-04-21T00:02:00.000+08:00

i'm back. finally. i am actually banned from the com from my brother. sounds stupid. but it's true. reason being something like i'm far too addicted to the com. whatever. he's an asshole anw. bleahs. this is gonna be my only chance to blog in another looooonngg period of time. so guys remember continue missing me. =x as if you guys have been doing that. so yea. my life. nothing much i guess. but lil' changes here and there all the time. i am still wrking at mm and hyatt. still is someone who keeps spending like nobody's business when i don't earn much. i reckon this is considered getting myself prepared for poly life. =/ only big difference is i am trying hard to become a tv addict. so that at least i don't feel that empty w/o a com. bleahs. hope to blog again soon. love you guys!

happy birthday joelyn! smilez always ! =)

and happy birthday joyce [from mm] ! stay cheerful. hope to see ya back in mm in nov!

am wishing you guys in advance since most probably i won't get a chance to blog it. =x

`grossed out.

2005-03-25T23:04:00.000+08:00

have been hanging out with ling these days. nothing much i guess. erm. i watched hitch on wed at jp then went orchard rot a while come back panjang rot again. =x the bastard deserves to suffer in hell man. grrrr. anyways. on thurs went ginza find her then rotted alone and waited for her to fang gong. and i actually bumped into shuying at such a ulu place. =s then went back panjang. she met up with her kakees. and woohoo~ i drank vodka. firz time o! it's soooo nice. man. feel like drinking it again. cool eh. my face didn't change into a baboon's ass. wahahaha. i must be a natural drinker. gosh. i want vodka!

today. the boring part. lounge. it's was just like some normal other day. except it's more boring. only attractive part about the whole hi tea session is actually jimmy. sheesh. i'm so missing mm like hell. i want winnie! i want tiffany! i want shah! and the list just goes on. man. the people there ultra rocks. defintely. i want nicholas! that makes me dread my next two wrking days even more. damn. hate it hate it. i was telling yee i have this strong urge to pia next mon-fri. and she even say she too! hurhur. people's telling me we are mad. and i know i am. i can't tahan that. but one week nia. try lor. also can't confirm everyday got schedule. got then too bad. i'm earning peanuts and i want watermelon! grrr. i will wrk for it. yesshh~ =)

and some bastard/bitch had been trying to hack into my bank accouunt and spend them on e-bay. im grossed out. it must be someone who know me well enough to know my personal information. but luckily whoever the darn asshole was. he/she got my password wrong. but may i warn anyone trying that: it's illegal. don't ever try it. you'll regret. and i'm poor anyways. wrong target. and also. damn the hell outta you!

`those hypocrites out there, for heaven and hell's sake please FUCK OFF! you people are defintely making me disgusted and irritated. and making me so wanting to scream at you. i doubt you'll know who you are. since, like i've mentioned, you are hypocritical! fake. selfish. blah blah blah. fucking geeks. digusting freaks. *puking whatever i've eaten for the past one week* you people can be as fake as nobody cares. as selfish as all you want. i only sincerely hope that. you do not affect me at all. but it doesn't seem like the case here. i've given you help when you needed it. gave you that important something when you neeeded it most. but all i get? betray. lies. wat else? i do not know. but you yourself knows it best. selfishness and competetive-ness is sooooo fresh and obvious in you. i do not like it. nobody would want it. and thanks so much for being a friend.

`tada. that's it.

2005-03-22T15:58:00.000+08:00

so. the posting is out. got into my firz choice as expected. sp chemical processing. isn't as excited as i was when i knew about this course. guess i'm like getting kinda sick of the course with so many people blabbering into my ears how lousy my future is gonna be. whatever. i've got a urge to like change course. wonder if my appealing will wrk. but most probably, it won't anyway. my cousin was like telling me 'you chose it. so love it!'. yea. that's so true. i can't be dreading it when it haven even started. that'll only make me totally turned off by it. so yea. i'm trying hard to love it. hope i succeed.

this year's posting is weird sia. heard from xiang ying that her friend with a aggregate of 12 can't get in np's biz's courses. that's 'cause np sucks mahz. ok. that's crap. the thing here is i hate np. sorry to those who are/got posted to np. guess there's gonna lotsa appeal cases the schools are going to handle. bless them.

`b0ring me.

2005-03-21T23:56:00.000+08:00

warning: long and boring entry ahead. *read at own risk*

my lifeless routine continues. wrked at lounge at on sun and mm on mon. =x tts four consecutive days. wondered how i managed that. no wonder im so damn shag today. people at mm wrked 5 to 7 days a week and thinks it's alright. i think it's mad. =x they are way too powerful than me.

sun: nothing much at lounge. the dumb usual stuff that's getting me sick. the new gal, ayisah, is actually nana's sis. kinda unbelievable in terms of looks. ooppps. but see the way they hang out together it's expected. hmmm. we actually had a full house going on. having big big tables. and many many people on the waiting list as well. amazing. singaporeans are wasteful. a pathetic hi-tea for $23+++ and they are willing to spend. and i'm like getting the food for free. heh. smart john was not bothered to call the people on the waiting list up. if not, all of us will die. =s i cant say the same for helen thou. she might had called up every single onez on the list. whatever~ she was on leave anyway. phew. hohohoho. guessed what. i opened the door for jimmy today o~ lol. and he talked to me. was wrk but im still happy. =)

mon. that's today. mm! yeshh! i'm loving it~ hmmm. while getting for wrk in the locker room, i found out tiffany actually was from hyatt too. lol. saw her 'hyatt' tag. was shocked man. so i showed her mine too. haha. then both of us went on ~~blabbering~~ bitching about how terrible hyatt was. and the others really think both of us are mad. she was betta than me. she only ran away after 4 days while i only managed 2. hahaha. she wrked in dec too. maybe we really had wrked together before. singapore is tiny. firz time wrk at LO. fifth floor function room. whatever it stands for. room is even smaller than level 1 ballroom. gosh. and it was my firz time doing cocktail as well. it wasn't as tiring as someone had said it to be. in fact relaxing if you've done it before. well, i wrked with nicholas too. *giggles* but only at pool garden thou. didn't do the second part of cocktail outside the function room 'cause shah sent me in back into the room to check on my tables. it was 2 to 3 today. shag man. shag. didn't even hafta pick up food or serve much. but i'm still tired. *wonders why* all i know is i keep clearing plates and i'm soooo slow at it. or rather. today's people is slow in eating. *shrugs* partnered with vinu. and i just can't differentiate him and his friend yet. think they are twins. and they allowed me to think so anyway. nicholas was supposed to be server today. who knows the supposedly 'most probably won't open' reserve table actually opened. and nicholas served it. there. right beside one of the tables i was in-charge of. lucky him. 1 to 1. but he wrked with my partner for picking up etc. and shared side station with us too. fated. =x felt that i've 'lian lei' my partner. was so slow and blur today. nicholas was irritated with me but he sorta kept it to himself. knew a few times he was mad with me. but the matter pass since i was rather new. gosh. nicholas is cute man. as in his looks. i'm being boy-crazy again. but it's really not my fault okays. but am feeling so guilty everytime i made him angry. worst part is.. i don't even know i had actually done. unknowingly, i just keep doing the wrong things. maybe there's some 'nonono's in mm that i don't know. =x whatever~ it's over anyways. and i saw the guy with the 'kenneth' nametag. gosh. im freaked. totally. he was the assistant captain[or is it not?] on last friday and today. didn't wrk with him today thou. so he's the one someone had said was cute. gross. *puke puke puke* he actually reminded me of cheng joo's stead. some of you guys might be able to imagine that yea? so that's sooo attractive yea? =x

and damn that stupid manager there. i didn't get my schedule i booked. grrr. kelvin tan. asshole man. im starting to get confused about who's good who's bad there in mm. that mm joyce had told me kelvin is very hao se. gals would hafta catch his eye to become a vip server. dots sia. arthur lim no betta always cracking 'crooked' jokes. and that his attitude varies with his mood. =x today, nicholas,vinu and armami[don't know how to spell man. shucks.] were totally pissed with rizzwan. they feel that he's being a pathetic assistant captain trying to show off. but he's kinda good to me. in a sense that he'll help. maybe it all goes back to the fact that i'm new. i really don't know. =x politics over there is kinda serious to me. feel that im still like innocent sia. when nicholas and vinu exchanges glances and go fuck-ing when certain people intercepts them. but seriously rizzwan is so making use of his title of assistant captain. and kept on increasing nicholas's tray load. could like sense him trembling when he took up the tray. partly it was my fault. =x and it's like the large tray. and really it's humongous [at least to me]. bleahs. but i guess dennis gotta be the best manager while shah being the best captain. =]

`wrk and still wrk.

2005-03-19T22:17:00.000+08:00

fri wrked at mm. today wrked at hyatt. tml wrking at hyatt again. what a life. nvm that since i've been playing and splurged almost my whole fortune away. =x

well well. friday. i wrked as a mini steward. -_-" people bring in dishes then me and this guy will sorta clear off whatever that's left on the plates and bowls, collect all the cutlery blah blah and send them to the actual stewarding. the managers call him 'commando bernard' but i guess he should be renamed 'zi bi zheng' bernard. he don't talk much neither does him respond much. =x weirdo~ talk to him like 10 sentences he answer like 1 only. d0ts sia that guy. then keep mumbling under his breath. but when i go 'huh?' he never repeats himself. grrr. the whole period of time is like so hard to pass and his stares are weird. almost died under his stares. then when the dinner is [finally] ending, he asked if im wrking tml and said no. phew! scary sia. thou its relaxing wrking as that. but it's terrifying! gosh. my two other friends were feeling so shag after the dinner while i am still so alive and blabbering away. bernard the strange. whatever~ i don't mid doing that 'pick up' thing as they call it again. sad thing is it'll always be bernard in charge. -_-" but do pick up really allows you interact with lotsa peopleoh yesh! i made quite a few friends sia. happy happy. =) all around my age somemore. they are fun. =)) but my pay got deducted for a nametag that isn't even my name. =x will only get the one with my name on my next wrking day. =s oh ya. mm got shuai ge. lol. nicholas. but somebody just like to say kenneth. dotsssss. even someone who had wrked about 3 months also say is nicholas sia. its either you poor taste or you cock eye see wrong name. but hor for you, most probably is the firz one. =x

so. today. hyatt lounge. everything was quite alright. helen was unhappy a few times. but other than that rather okay. there's a new gal thou. aisyah i think. don't know how to spell. sheesh. for a new gal, she's fine. guess is betta then me when i started off. ooopps. hmmm. somebody broke something. think is bhuwan. saw her clearing up the floor. =x then i served this ala carte tea. got abit abit of those small small leaves. not really leaves more like residue. and that asshole went 'i don't want this. please change it. i want only tea. i don't want this.', pointing to the tea cup. wtf. this world isn't perfect also okay? how can i be perfect then? *bashes you* grrrr. and that made helen unhappy with me also sia. damn it. so i cleared them away. and let helen serve you. bastard. stupid arrogant caucasian. another asshole then add 'the service here is just too rough.' to the hell with you. and he sounds local. double damn you. grrrr. but after that helen asked me and bhuwan in talk about schedule. and i am a lousy liar i know. helen knows about mm already. =x and i honestly tell her that mm is a betta place. wahahahaha~ 'cause i was deciding where to wrk on good friday. so tempted to wrk mm sia. i've friends there anyway. heh. but helen was like 'here la here la. come help me.' what can i do? haiz. she desperate i guess. among the part timers, me and shan wrked the longest. and shan isn't around now. grrr. good thing is helen said i wasn't that blur today. phew! that's an improvement. hahahaha. oh yea. the cute chef's name is jimmy if im not wrong. today keep have people calling him. but me short term memory. =x best thing today is john and uncle tom wrked with me. lol. and today feels like sunday. -_-"

`the amount you give is NEVER equal to the amount you'll recieve. but why am i the one always giving but in the end not recieving anything? i ain't expecting much. don't expect you to share. but can you just tell?

`nuts.

2005-03-17T00:41:00.000+08:00

heh. having having fun these two days. went kbox and an unsuccessful tan. grrrr. i got burnt while she is tanned. gek dao. hmmm. now my skin hurts like hell. bleahs. and guess what? i saw ksh at harbourfront. so a coincidence man. so far away also can bump into each other. haha. fated i guess. =x took neoprints for two consecutive days. one before tan and the other after. i sucked in both anyway. =s then nothing much already i guess. looking forward to friday. 'cause i'll be wrking at mm again. yea~ getting cash. made myself so broke while enjoying life. oopps.

i almost quarrelled with my friend while chatting online. she texted me after she logged off. said she was sorry. whatever. why do people like to do this to me nowadays? hmmm. must be im too good a friend to lose. duh. im being self obsessed. -_-"

`i am soooo into guang liang nowadays. keep playing 'tong hua' non-stop man. i think im mad.

`whoosh.

2005-03-14T15:44:00.000+08:00

sat: wrk at lounge. john is cute. chatted with him without stares from helen. whee~ 'cause she's behind. heh. john only get about 1.2k a mth sia. kinda pathetic. he was shocked when i said my friend's getting the same basic pay with him. lol. most probably earning more then him. think he felt tiny weeny bit of inferiority. oops. so sorry. and oh! hyatt had a blackout. oh my. scary it was. but it was fun. could see nothing. nana made a cup of successful cappucino in the dark. she's pro. then tony still light candles. so romantic. lol. but he ain't married yet. =x had one of the nicest day at lounge since helen didn't poke her nose at every single thing. just that i kept hafta clear the tables and john do the wiping of tables. kinda obvious the reason for this. to let me practise holding tray. duh. and john had accidentally blurt out 'liming go clear the table. i help you wipe. i wanna see you hold tray.' just as i've thought. helen is behind this. whatever. im cooperating with john. i don't mind that a bit. in the end, i still toppled a tiger draft glass. =x lucky its empty and im doing clearing up. if not....... hmmm. but sad thing is it was the last time i wrked with shan before he leaves for sri lanka. for a month i think. who knows i might not be going back there after march. =/ went cine with tong after that. visited joyce at wrk. joelyn was there too. she's facing some kind of problem. but with me, of cause she cheered up. =s then all of us ate at phin's steakhouse. got a 10% off. not of much use anyways. oopps. saw 1 actor and 1 actress. don't know their name. bleahs. can recognise good enough already. after i reached home for a while. i texted helen. told her i sprained my ankle on my way home and my leg hurts blah blah blah. of cause she believed me. told me take a rest. firz time so angelic. =x

sun: wrk at mm with a supposedly 'sprained ankle'. heh. gosh gosh. that place is defintely 100% betta then hyatt. the people there are soooo great man. except xxx and yyy that is. they are ever so dotttsss. they are still waiting for other restaurants to call them. especially some stupid brazilian restaurant. 'cause of it don't wanna book. wtf. nevermind that. fine. i booked my own schedule without them anyways. well. is with another gal. hopefully can wrk wif her. if not i'll feel so helpless. =x well wrk today i should say kinda relaxing thou tiring. those managers somehow deserve our respect thou they are sarcarstic. and there are like 2 'shah's there. 1 manager that look like a chinese. the other sorta in charge of the new staff. took great care of us. and oh my. my table has got someone who's in hotel line as well. scared the freak outta me man. he was like telling me 'you want me to show you the correct way of holding that service gear?' oh my. and i honestly told him 'ah! nonononono. i am afraid that might get me into trouble.' so he went on 'no harm no harm. just wanna show you the right way only.' bleahs. luckily i somehow managed to reject his offer. right from the start, he kept saying 'do properly okay. im gonna grade you with the feedback form. ' thought he was joking at firz. but he repeated it lotsa times. then until he said he wanted to show me the service gear, i realised he meant serious. gosh. he the table of people was rather unhappy with me. but too bad 1 to 1. i can't just change table. =x then he really kept his word and filled up the form man. wanted to like peep at the card when i was clearing up but i am timid. grrrr. end up i took the card, pen and dishes back into the stewarding area, wanted to return the pen. but the manager was there. and he took the pen and the card as well. and opened it on the spot. oh my oh my. i quickly rush away. don't even dare look at him at all after that. =s end of everything the shah manager still praise the new staff say well done and asked us how's our firz day blah blah blah. hyatt nathan will never do that. whatever. then go office that time saw kelvin tan and guess what? he actually thanked us and told us go book our schedule. the only other people who'll thank staff is like elise sharon and rajan. all lounge people. hyatt banquet suck thoroughly. bleahs. got changed, took pay and left to rot and walk around with yiling. hohoho. we are both mad. oopss. and still took cab home. =x

mon: shopping!! yessshhh. shop shop shop. finally after soooooooo long. went bugis with yiling. guess i've found another shopping partner over here. lol. shopped i bot two items. pathetic two. and bot this black band as well. the very common kind. i've got peace and she's got love. =] nice day yea. firz time shop bugis-v without sweating at all. im happy happy happy. just that xxx's text pissed me a lil' at the start of the day. whatever. don't care you. unreasonable b-i-t-c-h. =x that's all folks~

`job choice.

2005-03-12T02:41:00.000+08:00

on top of the fact that i have strange sleeping habits, i had been rotting outside in the wee hours of the night [erm. morning?]. oooppss. for the past two days. actually feel kinda uncomfortable typing my entry here at this time. =x have been rather busy these few days. which is good for me. finally not staring into this screen everyday.

went marina mandarin for banquet training ~~today~~ yesterday. yiling accompanied me there. had wanted to show me the route to suntec by 700A. but the asshole bus just don't wanna come. bleahs. still took 960 there since we were running late and were like behind schedule. =x 700A is supposedly faster but at the rate we had been waiting, 960 would have been soooo much fatster man. grrrr. so sorry! make you waste so much time. if not you could have woke up later. ooopps.

well. training was alright. hyatt don't even have trainings at all. bleahs. learnt all the basic and mm is truly desperate. yesterday training, tomorrow start wrk. said they are running full house today and tomorrow. totally despo. if not would not have called me in the firz place. =s mm really don't look like 5-star hotel to me man. look old and pathetic from the outside. ooopps. but they do train staff well and emphasize on part timers as well. unlike that damn hyatt. oh man. thinking about it, im wrking scotts today. sick. urghhh. anyways, i've got this job offer from jianhui. yea. jianhuiiiiii. funny~ a packaging job over at jurong east train station. still is thinking about it. had agreed on the spot at firz but is thinking of backing out now. and oh no. jianhui hasn't reply my text yet. means i would have to go dwn today at 10 as arranged. but im tired. shag shag shag. =x just lazy. bleahs. what now. only two choices. one, be responsible and go down alone early in the morning. two, be mean. just heck and sleep till the person call. grrrr. really feel like choosing the latter. and of cause leave my handphone off as well. but that's so mean. bleahs.

`better?

2005-03-10T16:51:00.000+08:00

i am feeling better. well. at least i thought so. things seemed to have to improved and i was glad. but no. it wasn't. at all. why should i be the one to bring the job to you all? have the two of you ever had the slightest idea of informing me to join you when you had soooo many job interviews on hand? no. the answer's just too obvious. then again why had you asked to go ajisen for interview alone. 'cause you don't wanna be alone. your new-found-buddy didn't want to wrk there. that's why. so what exactly am i? an abandoned+back up partner? trust you to be thick-skinned enough to approach me and my buddy when you and yours are lost. have you any idea what it actually feels? i guess not. now what? i told both of you that i simply can't wrk there. but do you understand? no. again. keep telling choose the one with the higher pay and that's of course to go with you all. why? 'cause i am the one applied there. i was the one they called. you all probably can't get in without me. i am not trying to put myself on air or any sorts. but it's just like i called you straight after i got the call. thought it thru after that. is it really that worth it to keep you in mind when u don't do the same? and had you seriously gave thoughts to the fact that i am still attached to the lounge? tried telling so many times but you don't seem to be bothered. is it 'cause i am the one facing the trouble not you? for your information, i am not as realistic as you. i don't just heck one job if another one has a higher pay. maybe promises are just nothing but words to you. but to me. a promise made is not meant to be broken. thou i might hate that lounge quite a fair bit but i value of the promise i have made. tell you. i am hurt. hurt deeply. by this fragile friendship between us. this group that once belonged to ourselves. gone. no longer sense the closeness. you have unknowingly [or even consciously?] hurt at least two of us. you were unhappy at me choosing what i want, trying to spite me with everything you have. do you seriously think i am blind or feelingless? but do you know? you had made someone else unhappy with your choice as well and she isn't doing anything at all. you are just over-ly fortunate to have us as friends, in case you don't know. you n i aren't having voiced-out quarrels but do you know? this is much worse then that. sometimes, i really wonder. that innocence of yours is it feigned? you aren't like this in the past. you've changed. totally. much better. i know u should not be like this, not now. nor the future. maybe that is just my hope. but i liked the previous you better. much better.

almost fell out with someone else. but *phew*. she still was in the right mind to correct both of us. i'm so sorry. didn't mean to be so fierce. was really feeling f*cked up over everything. over our pathetic friendship. =x

`i really think i should have gotten myself the guang liang cd man. urghhh. it'll sooo much nicer and the 'di yi ci' mv is included as well. i am so dumb. =s

`haywired.

2005-03-09T15:32:00.000+08:00

i don't know what is going on recently. all i know is i am forever feeling down and so negative. and this suck. have been hiding at home everyday. it always make me think a lot man. too much i guess. can't help it to think my life is on the wrong track. just nothing is right. i know. i am making myself seems pathetic. but. urghhh. forget it. i am certified mad. expect nothing positive from me.

`i am just an insignificant piece of trash. shall just forget myself and everything will be alright.

`yessshhh. i finally did it. can you guys hear the midi? it rocks. =x

`b0rEd.

2005-03-08T19:47:00.000+08:00

yesterday i stayed at home the whole day. goodness. i am on the stage of decomposing already man. urghhh. didn't get to sleep peacefully somemore. got four calls. and all four woke me up. grrrr. got me irritated. but answered them anyway and never lose my temper or whatsoever. i am so kind. =x other than that, i spent my day in front of the screen i am facing now. boring isn't it? not even a proper job. what to do? today went to lot 1 ajisen interview. alone. but screwed it up. got rejected right in my face. whatever. i am just not fated to get another job and to remain loyal to that asshole lounge. bleahs. and im like hating it man. haven't got to wrk with uncle tom for hell long already. and that damn job is tying me dwn. talked to helen about it. but it's nno use. it's helen we are talking about, alright? urghhhhhhh.

`i can sense myself going mad. crazy. nuts. out of boredness i guess. =x

anyways,i bought this cd on impulse. wu ke qun's cd. i am not even sure who is that. wondered why i had chose to buy that. apparently there are so much more other cds worth buying. like guang liang? david? at least they are better than a brand new singer. =s and it isn't that nice after all too. having regrets now man. i shall not buy stuff on impulse ever again. no good no good.

`forced.

2005-03-07T01:55:00.000+08:00

so. after being in a dilemma for ever so long. i've decided. decided to follow my heart. my interests. i simply have no choice but to really make a decision by monday. which is actually today. unless i've decided not to study anymore. i am forced to it man. why can they just give me a lil' more time. the thing is poly wont even start so longer anyway.urghhh. so there i am here, making a choice that determines what i am going to do for the next three years at least. not counting the years i'll be involved in wrking in the related industries. =x if i ever have complaints of any sorts, it'll all be MY fault. i wouldn't have any chance to blame it on any other person. i can imagine this scene few years down the road perfectly well whereby i am cursing my job and life, not remembering i was in fact the one who had been the one who had sealed my fate few years ago. urghhh. but what's done cannot be undone. i've registered and that's a fact. i am most probably[say confirmed] going into chemical processing technology that's another fact. i am begging hard to everyone, anyone and whatever else that's out there. please please please. don't let me regret. NO. i am praying hard over as well. just hope this interest of mine don't murder me. i still have a long life to go.

today's wrk kinda sucked. got ranted by helen almost whole day long. every tiny weeny thing she also scold. this wrong that wrong. 'wrk here how long already? still not familiar? 'and blah blah blah. totally sick. last few weeks is nana. today and following weeks helen. this is bad. missed elise. something happened and i went to the lockers room. saw elise there. she was so understanding and kind. helen should really learn from her. =x finally saw shan after sooo long. heh. he's such a nice guy man. even got scolded by helen 'cause he attempted to help me a few times. kinda guilty man. and he's going england for a month. a solid month. *envious* lucky guy over there. fortunately, he'll be working nxt week as well. but sad thing is the day wantong's gonna go on leave he won't be around as well. so i am dead. facing helen, nana, bhuwan all by myself. just hope it'll be uncle tom that day and john will be wrking. heh. bless me.

`dilemma.

2005-03-04T23:58:00.000+08:00

i guess my troubles are reduced by a tiny lil' bit. now that i know i am going poly for sure. and i know i do want Singapore Poly. =) liked that school ever since i forgot when. oops. anyways. i am still in this huge dilemma between chemical process technology and banking and financial services. both are in SP. i ain't so dumb to make myself be stressed even more to consider other schools. it's like the lecturer from the DCP is rather convincing i should say. he said the starting pay is really not too bad. ranging from 1.5k to 2k. hmmm. worth considering. quite a lot of job prospects as well. was ready to sign up for it already. but went for business courses consultation. sinyee in interested mahz. the lecturer was not too bad either. only problem is he keep was trying to say DCP might not bring me good jobs. but he's cute too. reminds me of mr tan. but hmrp. nobody can replace mr tan. =x he was also saying that sinyee and i stand a very good chance of getting the scholarship and that we are bound to get into the course if we put it as our first choice. aiyo. that i also know. the thing now is like i cant put any course then try my luck if i get in anot. i'll simply get in whatever choice i put first. i don't mean to sound arrogant over here. instead the decision-making is seriously tearing me apart man. =s DCP has got a betta starting pay. and the lecturer's saying finding a job is no problem at all since SP is the only instituition offering such a course whereas business courses are practically offered everywhere. that's true too. but just that the jobs i get after studying DCP might be boring. should i follow my interests and take on a path im not sure. or choose to take DBF just 'cause of the scholarship, which might not be that secured after all. and i've just recieved news poly fees have gone up! urghhh. im totally torn apart now. somebody please help piece me back together. =x

`i trusted you 'cause you are my friend. but you betrayed me and lied 'cause of the same reason. all i can say is: it is just utterly disappointing. =(

`help!

2005-03-03T16:28:00.000+08:00

oh please! can somebody kindly educate me the differences between day and night? i've got this stupid routine within me to sleep only at 5/6am. and only wake up at 3/4pm. shucks. what's happening to me? oh my oh my. i will be very pleased to tune back my timing to a more normal one. [one which humans are supposed to follow.]

i am bored bored bored ! urghhh. save me quick. rotting for the second day consecutively already. and this is bad. i wanna a proper job that allows me to wrk on weekdays as well. haiz. and i need to register for my school and course by tomorrow. damn. i haven got the faintest idea man. bleahs.

in short. my life's ain't in a good shape. =x

`yes, I fell so hard I couldn't get back up. I fell for the one person I thought I'd never worked harder not to fall for.... I fell--- for you. [quoted from don't know where. heh.]

`changed.

2005-03-02T21:46:00.000+08:00

hohohoho. changed my layout already. when i've used the previous onez for less then a month. wahahaha. am so not used to it. it used to be dark, so filled-up. this skin is bright, empty and blah blah blah. gonna find a new onez and change again. =s people who are over-ly bored like me really has nothing betta to do. no school. no job. by the way, if anyone has any job recommendations please please inform me. i hate rotting. depending only on lounge won't get me anywhere. bleahs.

hmmm. nothing much today. just that i had a terrible tummy ache. was crying when i called up my dad. =x lousy me. but it was really bad man. bleahs. went to the doctors and am feeling so much betta. it still hurt thou. haiz.

i still have not decided where to go. and the deadline is like 2 days away. and i have not got a printer. uh oh uh oh~ sucks eh. reckon i'll still end up in poly. singapore poly that is. and study the course despite all the negative comments. many people don't wrk in the same industry they had previously studied in anyways. oh man. i am just trying to comfort myself. =x urghhh.

`treat.

2005-03-02T04:32:00.000+08:00

went to lot1 today. mr yeo treated us to lunch [sakae sushi]. hohohoho. felt guilty at first. after all, i've failed his subject. and it was the only one i failed somemore. oops. come to think about it, my lousiest two subjects are my both languages man. uh oh. hope you guys can understand what i am talking about then. since my english is that lousy. =s back to the treat, there's like 12 people who turned up and he treated us the buffet. all the gals were kind. noone from our table took red plates. heh. saw the guys' side ordered them thou. a lil' calculation here. mr yeo had spend around 250 bucks on this meal. oh my. suddenly can imagine him turning from a devil pig into an angel right before my eyes. wahahahaha. didn't talk to him much. keep suan-ing me. said i was fat the first in instant he saw me. boo hoo hoo~ maybe i should give some serious thoughts about slimming down. but i just can't resist food! oh no. haiz. somebody save me quick! =x

after the meal, we rotted for quite some time before deciding to go jiaman's house. heh. guess what we did? gamble! hohohoho. just nice for me to compensate for not being able to gamble during chinese new year due to wrk. bleahs. mahjong then cards. some avid gamblers we are. heh. jiesheng worst ah. supposed to go home take care of lil' brother but then keep dragging and dragging. 7.15 procastinate all the way to 8.30. stupid gambler. in the end he and kel took cab. lemme take shun feng che. so nice of them. thanks ah. [thou you all might not see this.] then just nice today jiaman's birthday. so shun bian help her celebrate. =] sang birthday song and stuff. not too bad a day after all. =)

jiaman! happy 17th birthday!

may all ur wishes come true.congrats on your results too~

[sorry i am late!]

*blank*

was just looking at the photo we took on our graduation hi-tea. looking at each of the faces there , i could feel all the memories coming back to me. gosh. felt tears gathering at my eyes man. despite whatever conflicts or differences we had, i know i'll still miss them. wonderful class of 3E4'03 and 4E4'04. the quarrels, bbqs, class activities...... the list goes on and on. i just will miss all of you so much! all of you were great. the last two years were one of the best times i had. and i am serious. despite all the stress all of us were going thru, we were just there for each other. you guys rock the world! =) still remember every teacher coming in to our class either frowning, shaking heads, sighing. some with white hair, stressed by us. nobody had faith in our class, including ourselves. was so certain we are gonna affect the school's results. in a bad way. but. well well. we succeeded! succeeded! all passed combined humanities. reversed the trend for the accounts results. and blah blah blah. ms ng was so so sooooo happy. haha. promised us treats. remember to make yourselves available for that alright? =) well done guys! gonna miss all of you sooo much. *muacks*

`dazed.

2005-02-28T20:20:00.000+08:00

it had been so long ever since i've reached home so early man. been reaching home at about 12am or later everyday for the past 3 wks 'cause of the uk funfair job. now feel so empty as if something is just missing. i am just so weird. wrk then i'll complain about all sorts of stuff. no wrk feel so empty. bleahs.

anyways. main topic of the day: results! wasn't worried, anxious or even feeling anything in particular. was just sitting among all the worried and scared faces without any feeling. after a looong talk by miss tay and a looong wait for the people before me to take their results, it's finally my turn. took it and stared blankly at the result slip. it doesn't state the L1R5 and we hafta calculate it ourselves. didn't bothered to anyway. so glanced thru the slip. first thing i noticed was amazing. i've actually gotten an A2 for combined humanities! shocked. then started screaming to whoever i saw few seconds after that. i was stunned and instantly-turned retarded. then joelyn came over and started helping calculate my L1R5. gosh. it's a 13. can anyone take that without fainting? i mean. i was this gal who scored a 22 in prelims and got it reduced to 20 by luck. and now my result slips had showed such a thing. goodness goodness. sooooooo confused all of a sudden. had been seeing myself in SP ever since sec 3. had even sorta decided the course thru out this holidays i had. but now. im knocked off my position totally. no idea at all. i wished i had been a lil' more stubborn. at least i'll die die stick to my poly course. bleahs. what now? =x

hafta admit i am sorta disappointed at my english and chemistry grades thou. was putting real high hope of a distinction in chemistry. and obviously it didn't come to me. haiz. bleahs. ='(

`everything today seemed to be like a dream. too wonderful to be true.

`ovEr!!

2005-02-28T01:05:00.000+08:00

wahahaha. muahahaha. it's over over OVER!! and i am happy happy HAPPY! no more freaking, super-duper bias asshole cum sex maniac kemp in my life ever again. i am proud to say that i had survived thru it in one whole piece, provided i am ranted by kemp every single day. darn him. this is one of the last sentences he spoke to me. 'can you stop playing with that fucking balloon and leave it alone'. in a rude way some more. that balloon had been given to me by this kind lady alright. and i was merely afraid that you will make it burst with your damn barbarian behaviour. get your facts right old man, you are the fucking asshole over here. damn you to hell. gave us abit of money again today and thanked us. more likely you just wanted to extend your appreciation to your dear ashley and her alone. bleahs. i rather think it as bonus for me being one of the best workers over there [at least i approach them before they ask me stuff, being on time most of the time and don't smoke while attending to the customers. the boss of uncle ringo had even took down me and tong's contacts so as to employ us again. =) ] and a compensation for not being able to try the rides out just 'cause i have to help you pack up. think i might have to see you for that one last time tomorrow. oh. today i mean. when i go get my pay that is. boo hoo hoo~ nvm that. i am going back to my uncle tom on sunday again. should have been saturday but i had promised to go sj fac le. hmrp.

shimin and jiahui came to visit me. was so touched. thx guys.=] then after my brother also came. well. i had told him to. it's his gf's bdae today somemore. memorable way to celebate i suppose. they tried the g-force ride as well. wahahaha. they are as brave as me! my brother was showing this 'it's was no kick' kinda expression. but his gf told me he was so freaked out halfway thru the ride. muahahahaha. what a scaredy cat. heh. oh ya. zhou cong qing [933 dee jay-cum-new singer] came to the funfair too! i served him somemore. i was so excited and ashley kindly gave me the chance to serve him. haha. his make up was thick. and among his company was this school belle i forgot from what school. oops. at least i recognised her kaes. heh.

i am still wishing the best of luck to myself [as well as the people i know] for our results. bless me, somebody.

`one last day.

2005-02-27T02:26:00.000+08:00

just one more day. one last day. and there will be no more sex maniacs appearing before my eyes everyday. haha. but i guess im gonna miss certain things of the job thou. like the fashion shows i'll get to see everyday and entertaining people i've gotten to know. such as uncle peter and that big fat full of studs guy. haha. but still, i am looking forward to the end of everything with great enthusiasm. heh. i am even looking forward to the bucks i am gonna get on monday! wahahahaha. suddenly feel so proud of myself. at least i am spending what i actually earn myself. since this year start? i guess. =]

well. i've finally gotten what i have been longing for. the roller coaster ride! yea! but seriously that is just soooooo chicken feet compared to air force, which is chicken feet compared to g-force. haha. so i really recommend g-force to you guys out there. but too bad the funfair's ending soon. =x

got scolded by kemp again. but as the boss of uncle ringo had said to me and tong, just ignore him. i did. and with a smirk on my face as well. muahahahaha.

good luck too all getting their 'o's results on monday! that includes me. heh. that's all folks~

`double bleh.

2005-02-25T00:16:00.000+08:00

oh my. wrk is just getting from bad to worse. kemp is still as bias as ever. i don't see the need to elaborate too much on it. but it's just soooo unfair to us man. keep ranting at us for talking when we weren't doing so. claiming that we weren't paying attention to the customers when we are concentrating sooo hard on them. bleh. ashley can even get out of the stall when there are customers yet not get scolded. unfair. i know, wantong and i just ain't as pretty as ashley and just don't know how to get into your good books. and i do know as well that both of us don't know how to reveal our flesh like someone else does. but this isn't the way you should be behaving, kemp. you simply make yourself seem more and more like a sex maniac in my eyes. and that is gross. lucky [yet unfortunately] we are only left with 3 days in the funfair. hope it just passes quickly without me knowing it. i really have no idea how am i [and tong] gonna survive the 3 days thou. *sighs heavily* i am gonna run as far away from that damn funfair as possible after i get the cash. heh. realistic me. muahahaha.

oh ya. the rumour about friday getting 'o's results is wrong! but on next monday, 28th instead. wonder which idiot had spread that rumour. goodness. but it is good news to me anyway. i won't be wrking on that day. so i can cry all i want the whole day. =x i am confident of myself. to cry over my results. in the bad way that is. bleh.

`i just need that pair of shoulders of yours to let me cry on. and that you to help me dry my tears.

`bleh.

2005-02-23T02:35:00.000+08:00

i am not only sick of blogging about my wrk but about the job as well~ bleh. ashley had requested to be in charge of the darts game and kemp agreed expectedly. how would he bear to reject such a simple request from ashley and disappoint her dear ashley anyway? its just like kemp is so god damn bias towards ashley man. and it sucks im telling you. sucks. wrked with wantong today and we were there analysing the whole situation. as in does ashley know what is going on?[about the fact that kemp is bias and is mean to us.] or that she does know and is actually making use of such a situation to her advantages? she's is 7 years older than us after all. it's amazingly unbelievable that she clicks sooooo well with us and in fact has no problem communicating with us at all. well, who actually has a elder sibling that's about 7 years older[or even younger] and both of you can actually communicate as if there's no age gap of any sorts? kinda tough i guess. besides being someone have has a diploma, why would she wanna do such a job at a pathetic funfair? when most of the staff is that kind who don't study and have no choice or that they are waiting for results like i am. she had quitted a job of the industry she had studied in poly after a year just 'cause she is sick of it. or at least she claims so. nowadays,having a job is already as if striking lottery to so many people and she gave up a job that's so related to the course she took? amazing. *salutes her* but being me, i thought of it once again[maybe a bit too much i guess]. quit just 'cause she's sick of the job sounds like a lame reason to me. i mean a 24 year-old who's holding on to a diploma is expected to have a proper job isn't it? whatever. just is so pissed with kemp today. he just doesn't trust me and tong at all. scolded us for talking when he's chatting happily with ashley. ranted at us for resting when we are only leaning on the game board after standing for 4 hours straight. with ashley sitting there at the stall facing outside, which kemp's saliva will be all over our face if it was us. bleh. serious case of bias-ness of here. fuck. kept gaving toys away as a way to relieve the anguish within me. bleh~ even thought if quitting. but it seemed stupid to do so 'cause of kemp. who is he to affect my life anyway. just hope i can survive 25th feb.

anyways. i forgot to mentioned that i actually got my ass on one more ride, air force. oh man. it's chicken feet compared to g-force i tell ya. thou at certain parts of the ride,memories of being on g-force came flowing through my brain. those parts when you feel as if you are falling. and it's the thought of g-force that had wanted me to puke. not the air force ride itself. -_-" i still had not tried roller coaster yet!! yiling went on it today! [by the way,thanks yiling!=)] oh my. i wanna go on it too! when is my turn ever coming?

hohohohoho....found this somewhere. hee.

Harry Potter Personality Quiz by Pirate Monkeys Inc.

`. . .

2005-02-22T00:51:00.000+08:00

no doubt. my entry's gonna be about my wrk. again. i realised i have nothing much to blog other then that. i am such a sad case. =x i know this is getting boring and i am getting sick of it as well. bleh. since this is the case, i shan't much about wrk today. it was a boring day at wrk anyway. and huiling lied to me! she didn't come to find me after all. =s i only know her for barely a day anyway. shan't expect too much. crowd flow there was kinda pathetic as expected. but among these pathetic flow of people was these two malay guys who had won something from me when i was at the darts game's stall few days back i think. couldn't remember them thou. and saw a few familiar faces i have seen before back in swiss. some older then me. nothing much other than this boring stuff. *yAwnZ* i am getting myself bored to tears. bleh.

wantong is bad! she's giving up on keith and eyeing my guy. jeers for you over here. =x and you are taking his crap seriously. boo hoo hoo~ hmmm. i am gonna complain to uncle tom tomorrow! hrmp. heh.
anyways, the 'o' levels results are gonna be out on 25th which is this friday. and it's kinda freaking me out. especially with so rumours i have heard. oh man. betta refrain myself from thinking about it over here.

oh ya~ one of my nightmares has came true. pei fen[as in the 933 dee jay] is taking over the night shift! oh damn. her voice is that kind of act sweet kind of stuff. bleh. that sucks. suck lots.

Happy Birthday Dasmond Koh!!! hohohoho...

`flashes of you keep appearing right before my eyes. what does that exactly mean?

`im loving it!

2005-02-21T02:20:00.000+08:00

im finding myself liking this job at the uk funfair even more now. especially on days when im in charge of the darts game. its just like besides those boring wkdays there, where there is almost no people[let alone business], i always get the chance to meet up with so many interesting people[including those ultra sucky ones]. like at the beginning, i helped this couple win a toy[heh heh...], they were so delighted that they gave me their namecards and say i can get stuff at discounts. [guy is in handphone shop, gal is from jewellery shop!] they even came back to the funfair a few days after that to look for me, the gal bringing her sis and her sis's bf. hahaz. felt so touched to be remembered just 'cause i did them such a tiny favour. also, i've got free drinks from another for helping him win something for his gf. few other guys came back looking for me, with different company. woah~ it feels great to make a tiny difference in each of their lives and being remembered in doing so. thou i might not ever see them ever again in my whole life, but that tiny difference brightened up their day as well as mine. =] so far, the best had been today. i've literally made friends. exchanged our mobile numbers even. well, in fact i've only made friends with this gal and she had got 3 guys for company. so i've made 4 friends in total! they are such great people. but just that they may be a little more towards bad company kind of people mainly 'cause they smoke. and that 1 of the guys is actually a illegal bookie. oops. hopefully no police is reading this. heh. that was crap~ nvm. but he was the guy who strike to me most thou. but he's short for a 21. he don't look like someone who will depend on being illegal bookie as an occupation. and he don't look 21 too. looks are really deceiving. =x he's so cute sia. keep asking me to give him tokens. say what put inside that container also no use. but i am a gal with intergrity okay. no monkey business from me. heh. i was like telling him i don't know you. so he told me he is christ or something. -_-" so i said i don't know you well. and he went on saying we now know each other better then can already. duh. what a person. but i still find him cute. hurhur. my new friend just told me she's gonna go support me at uk funfair again tml! =) regarding the sucky people i've met, there's just this group of them. kept claiming they had hit the card but the dart dropped and i could not help them since kemp was around. but they either have no brains that they can't think of that or that they are blind can't even notice such a gigantic person nearby. boo~ keep insisted on that. so i gave him another throw. missed. keep complaining non-stop then left after swearing so long and loudly. damn the fuckin' lot of you. assholes. i am the one tending the stall over here. your faces just don't appeal to me, especially after all the swearing and stuff from the lot of you. i can make people win thou they lose. i can make you lose thou you had won. i have the final say. i shall do what i deem right and what i feel happy with. nanny nanny poo poo~ -_-" tts all folks~

`mixed feelings.

2005-02-20T14:15:00.000+08:00

dumb-ly, 3 jcs had had their carnivals clashed on one pathetic day. originally, i had only wanted to go for sajc's one. it was my dream school few years back after all. and was most reluctant to go for jjc's one. but yesterday morning, i just had this carzy idea of going all three schools since 2 of my best friends is in ajc n jjc respectively. got it planned out but somehow or rather this plan just went haywired. ended only supporting jjc -_-" time was such a important factor pulling us away from the idea of going sajc. sucked. was just feeling so much and suddenly feeling so much. wonder where these ill feelings came from. *sighs* i resigned to my fate and travelled all the to woodlands for wrk, feeling somehow depressed. started off wrk in a daze since the bloody management had caused so much people to quit and there was simply not enough workers, especially cashiers. [who, in the right mind, would want a job where you have to get your pay deducted every single day and only gets 1/2 hours of pay when you had wrked 6 hours?] anyway, it was good to me there was no customers. since i was moodless for anything. but,ashley[my partner] was like asking me if i was interested in bumper cars. hohohoho.. of cause i said yessshhhh! had been wanted to play that for soooo long. went in and guess what. there's this thailand guy whom i think is interested in her! she's pretty freaked out by that i could see. hmmm. went on with the game anyway. oh man~ i would like to tell anyone who's reading this that riding in bumper cars really is a good way release anger or stress, i tell you.it was gr8 game. the thais, in charge of the game, joined in since it wasn't fun having only 2/3 cars moving. before long, the ang mohs joined in too. then, in the midst of all those playing, i saw keith! heh. someone's him~ =x hmmm. din attempt bumping into him thou. but the best part in playing those people[ all guys except ashley but he has gt a guy beside him thou] is that they hit real hard man. so violent eh~ was knocked off my seat sooo many times. in addition i was bad at controlling the bumper car, so they were using this as an advantage to themselves and keep targetting at me! bleh. but it's fun! so guys, try the bumper car as well besides the g-force ride, especially you are in a bad mood. im now left with my roller coaster ride. not that interested in other rides. i know i sure will be able to get my ass on it. =) oh ya. wantong and i helped this malaysian lady find her way to her friend's house. this is her first time in singapore and we are the ones we helped her! am so honoured and proud of myself! =] tt's all folks~

`gosh!

2005-02-19T01:10:00.000+08:00

oh man~ my near-perfect job at uk funfair is suddenly turning into a total nightmare. at first,i thought it was just that kemp don't like the management there and is fond of referring them as 'bullshit management', always claiming that the management likes bullshit. and that the management don't like kemp's bad attitude of always scolding and screaming at others. that's all. but. obviously that's not true~ heard something from a guy from the management that really makes me wanna puke. he was like saying kemp had asked a malay gal among the staff to go hotel with him! can you even imagine that? gosh! for (whoever's reading this)'s information,kemp is this old fat man whom i guess is in his fifties/sixties. and he has a wife who had bore him a daughter twenty-five years back. i couldn't believe this at first. but i do remember him talking to that malay gal and being affectionate with her as well. *faintz*
oso, we heard that the two days we were not around,kemp kept insisted on female staff as substitues too. yuck. thinking through about what the guy had told me and wantong, i find it kinda true after all~ he's forever leaning so close up 2 females he's talking to and like touching their hands etc. *puke*
before we end wrk today,he actually gave us some $. [by right,i wasn't even allowed to mention this so i shan't disclose the amount.] hmmm. now as i think about it, i don't even know what it was supposed to mean.. =x maybe im thinking too much, i really don't know. =s hmmm. kemp is partially right about the bullshit mangement. it ,seriously, kinda suck. but he should know some of the problem lies in himself as well. im not in the position to give such comments anyway. oh yea. i just recieved the 1st part of my pay. was kinda happy and glad at first. but wantong just called at told me that she's realised that something is amiss. we have been cheated! had wrked 47.5 hours but the person gave us onli 34.5 hours worth of pay. damn the bullshit management which does asshole stuff. 1st having wrkers going on strike over salary problems. now cheating the rest of so much pay! they are already getting the double our pay yet still cheating our $ and pocketing them. it is not a small figure to start off with. fuck them man! am feeling so pissed right now~ gonna argue and tear that 'un-office'-lookin office down until they pay me right man. urghh.....
i realised something about me these days. have been 'pardon'-ing so often now adays. don't seem to fully understand those ang moh bosses and some of the customers. =x *thats all folks!

`sucked.

2005-02-18T00:45:00.000+08:00

oh man~ yesterday was like such a bad day man. went to wrk as usual. but there's this freaking whore who cheated at the game. darn her. just for a toy. its totally cheap of you! asshole. the bitch-est slut ive ever seen in my whole life. acted innocent as if nth happened. damn you and to the hell with you~ listen here. i loathe u and you definitely deserved worse den hell.
made me got scolded by my boss like hell. he was like ranting for a few minutes after that. sucked. that almost made me break down. can feel my face going red and water in my eyes. totally terrible. lucky me to have resisted the tears. but wrked with an ultra black and long face after that. no point working so hard for someone who had just scolded me like nobody's business anyway. bleh~ kept thinking about what had just happened after that. the more i thought,the angrier and sad i was. missed my uncle tom soooo much~ uncle tom is nice to me! gonna find him someday! heh~
anyway, kemp[that's my boss] apologised to me today. when he just arrived at the funfair,he said he apologise for what had happened the day before. was i shocked! i've forgotten everything anyway. heh. oh yea~ i finally got the chance cum courage to try the g-force ride. oh my! it was cooL~ exciting. scary. yet fun. =] was feeling sooo giddy when the ride finally stopped. felt something gonna escape from my throat. but phew! nothing of that sort happened. lucky crowd flow was little. rested inside the stall after that. its really worth 15 bucks after all! thou i got it for free. heh. hmmm.the ride is powerful! i still can feel the after effects of the ride man. when i have rode on it 6 hrs ago. oh. maybe its that im too weak~ cant blame me anyway. its my 1st time riding such stuff after all. and the papers have recommended it as the most exciting ride too. gonna try get my butts on some other stuff as well. longing to play that bumper car,which is within my view every single wrk day. =x and that mini roller coaster too~ =] tts all folks~

`finally.

2005-02-16T00:45:00.000+08:00

woohoo~ finally gt it d0ne. many many thx 2 wantong too. thx buddy! *muacks* luv ya lots! w0ndered h0w many 0f my braincells haf been killed in the pr0cess of creating tis. heh. shld haf kn0wn myself betta. im such an idiot at such stuff man. =x nvm~ its over anw..its ready!! bleh. im such a crapper~
well~ bout my dae.. i spent 1st half of the dae slpin. till 3pm~ am shocked myself..was such a pig.. =s
den the other half was wrk! wasn't reali tiring anw. crowd flow was pathetic at the uk funfair today. was simply rotting away.
guess that's all for now~